Balloonists of Renown

Nazca hierophants, c 200 AD (per Julian Nott)

Cyrano de Bergerac, philosopher, c 1640

Jean-François Pilâtre de Rozier, academician, c 1783

le marquis Francois d'Artlandes, c 1783 

James Tytler, esq., c. 1784

Letitia Ann Sage, actress, c 1786

 

Dr John Jeffries, physician, c 1786

 

Jean-Pierre Blanchard, inventor, c 1793

James Sadler, pastry chef, 1811

Sophie Blanchard, balloonist, 1819

Thomas Monck Mason, musician, c 1836

John Wise, balloonist, c 1859 

Gen Edward P Alexander, CSA, c 1862

Henry C Coxwell, aeronaut, 1862

Dr Samuel Fergusson, scholar, adventurer, 1863

Phileas Fogg, gentleman, 1873

Gaston Tissandier, meteorologist, c 1875

Salmon August Andrée, mechanical engineer, 1897

Oscar Z Diggs, salesman, regent, c 1900

Professor Fate, academician, c 1908

Baron Bomburst, autocrat, c 1910

 

Max Pruss, zepplin capt., 1937

Larry Walters, security guard, 1982

Michael Sanby, entrepreneur, 1989 

Falcon Heene, balloon boy (disputed), 2009

Joseph "Joe" Biden, politician, balloonist, c 1973 2023

J

The Third Rail of ALM

 I still don't know, re Harris's favored DNA.  African, right? -- or not?  Person of color is sort of non-specific -- or, if you will, exclusive.

["***."  What, like Cherokee, like Elizabeth Warren?  "***!"  What do you mean, 'hate speech'. You're  kidding.  "***!  ***."  Then what about 'Indian Gaming' -- it's their own term for cripe sake.  "***.  ***."  That's ridiculous. "***!  ***."  So I suppose it's, Native South Asian?  "***.  ***."  And this is important to people?  "***!"  Yeah I get that.  But it goes both ways.  "***.  ***."  I think that demonstrates a lack of understanding and information, about history and about human nature.  "***!"  Yeah, well, whatever.  One of us is disagreeing with reality.  "***!  ***!  And I suppose...  "***!"]

My, that was unpleasant.  But moving on.  

Of course it's racism, picking a favorite, privileging it.  It's absurd even to call it "reverse racism".  That would be the reverse of racism -- not color-blind, not tolerance or acceptance, but indifference.  As of a trait that is simply insignificant and literally meaningless.  Like freckles or attached earlobes.  

Race is a meaningless word anyway.  We mean ethnicity or culture, as in the Rwandan genocide, with the black Hutu massacring the black Tutsi because of no reason at all.  Well, yes, racism, if we let that word mean vicious hatred of superficialities.  The way the English hated the Irish, long ago.  

So it's not that turnabout is fair play.  Cowardice and decadence are fair play.  Bullying and hypocrisy are fair play.  For everyone, always, everywhere.  Because that's how inevitability works.  Human nature is like this.  Ape nature is like this.  Primate brains are wired for fairness and for revenge.  

The lunatics are in charge of the asylum, but they were in charge in the slavery South.  Different lunatics, but same human nature.  Why do they do it?  Because they can.  It's a choice, like abortion.  It's equality, like making no effort but being entitled.

So now Disney, the angriest place on Earth, is teaching hatred to kids -- Disney plus, like lgbq whatever plus.  The Proud Family, snarling a vicious rap about how black racism is good -- repartitions equal empowerment.  Ungawament. (Before your time.)  If it were really children performing, well, they only know what they're taught.  It's adult black bigots and white lefties and sorry to all haters of other "colors" I'm leaving out -- I just don't feel like making that long a list. Is that offensive?

Black is beautiful, but not more beautiful, or less beautiful.  Sorry, I know that's like saying All Lives Matter.   Another sitcom -- N Lear presents, All in the Proud Modern American Family.  But take out the American -- too racist to be ironic.

Given our color-based theme, I suppose snowflake would not be the apt term for the critically racist theoreticians of color.  Something else, fragile and insubstantial but, gauchely, color coordinated.  Neopolitan cotton candy?  The -politan resonance works.  But, color isn't right either.  Critical Color Theory.  Honesty, I have to say it.  Ultra-neo-post-Marxism.  What color is Marxism?  Red of course and that doesn't work.  Rainbow then.  Except they don't have black in their flag.  

So, everybody.  A full spectrum, from an absolute absence of light, then a stirring of super-ultra violate I mean violet, right on through to infinite red.  But, yet, somehow, because this inclusiveness is so very divided into bands, it can never come together, united if you will, into the horror of unforgivable whiteness.  No vanilla, in our neopolitan.

That's what equality is, to the UNePoMers.  Compliance, and no disagreement allowed.  No preferences -- excepting the necessary correction, of a dispreference for what some are pleased to call white.  And do not stop apologizing, because it will never be accepted.

We prefer the term people with no color.  Tannables is allowed, but we don't like transparent. 

Regarding the Preferred -- because we've changed our minds about that, and agree that it's a good thing -- in Hillary's Bouquet of Preferables, would Jews count? -- or is it The Jews.  And, um, the Asians?  Only the non-achievers.  The affirming action of achievement is replaced by capitalized Affirmative Action, administered via the coercive power of Federal and State government, albeit not via the Constitution.  

And by the way, "a lack of understanding and information" is a polite way of saying stupid and ignorant.  

The many successive name-changings is, are understandable.  It's like pronouns -- generally, young people trying to set themselves apart and fit in.  I'm special.  Given the reality of racist oppression, a demand for self-assertion, for agency is a healthy stage of development.  And each generation does it -- anyone remember afro-american?  

My point re "non-achievers" is that, I would expect people with real self-respect and developed character to not latch onto a label of corporate helplessness, which inherently assumes victim status.  Once they've thought about it, achievers identify with cooperative individualism.  They are overcomers.  People of color is the most binary label there is.  All of us people, and you.  

And, hasn't that affirming clock just about run out?  LBJ had a dream.  Isn't our Society Great yet?  Something was wrong with his gigantic-government dream.  It should have focused on character, rather than entitlements.

Am I cutting too close to the bone?  It's just my unhappy childhood, abused as I was by being taught to believe in individualism.  This is a too-complex subject.  Not a subject at all.  Power, entitlement, ability, oppression -- the Romans had it as right as it could be.  Slaves could become senators, and emperors.  But there were slaves.  That's not right.  It's just universal.  

Let's be alphabetical.  Lives that Matter:

All ... no, Asian, and Black, and ... Caucasian, and, um, Drug-addict, Eskimo ...  hm, I suppose that's far enough.  Too far.  All I can think of is "fag".  That's not included in the alphabet identities, is it. LGBTTQQIAAP  Lives Matter.  L+LM.  But no F.  Is that offensive?  And why do the Lesbians get to be first?  Pushy much?  I said pushy.

If I were gay, I'd call myself a fag.  It would be my n-word -- I'd take it back.  

Do you think I wouldn't?  I grew up with it.  That, and individualism.

I don't know why I'm wasting my time writing these posts.  They don't show up on a search.  Even if you're there, I don't feel heard.  I'm like Lucifer shouting at God from a mountaintop in hell.

J

CUSSOM

The violence and evil and intolerance of the MAGA Republicans will be destroyed.  We will exterminate everything the haters love.  They have no idea what's coming, yeah, see?  Never again, Maga.  

A new glorious new age is here at hand.  Let us rise together, waft majestically across this broad green, green and windpower land, from Alaska to Myrtle Beach!  Let us stride heroically forward onward into the glorious sunshine of the radiant future and the solar powered sun!  

Let's ... Create the United States Super Once More! CUSSOM!  We can rebuild it back better! We have the green technology! We can make it better than it was! Better, stronger, faster, um, newer!  Bigger!  Diversitier!  Possibly!  Come, yes, aha, be, with me, besides and ... CUSSOM! CUSSOM! CUSSOM!...  

-- JRB, Jr, on our 246 year as a nation on Earth 

He thinks he's funny.  That's been my problem too.   I think an exaggerated disgustingly vain persona is funny.  But I'm too old for it to work, now.  Like Jerry Lewis being his monkey, at age 60, or 70 or 80 or 90.  It just didn't work. Young and skinny worked.  I'm not sure why my know-it-all vanity-guy doesn't work.  It doesn't feel right -- I still use it, accidentally, an unthoughtful laziness or a very old habit.  But I immediately notice and regret it.  A minor regret.

Biden thinks he's funny.  The sotto voce whisper -- "I'm the President" -- "I'm the Commander in Chief".  Wow.  Just wow.  You know, absolutely know that he thinks he's funny.  That's why he so frequently informs us that he is NOT joking.  It usually seems to mean that he IS lying.  So, useful. 

There's a lot of silliness, pettiness, carping and picking at the other political side.  That's fine, people do it, and hopefully it's amusing for a bit. But it's just trivia, not really trying to convince or establish a point.  

President Ford was clumsy and said the Soviets did not dominate Eastern Europe.  President Carter was attacked by a rabbit and had been a peanut farmer.  Bush I was a wimp. Dukakis looked funny in a helmet in a tank. Clinton, well, all that was true.  Gore invented the internet.  Bush II looked like a chimp.  Kerry wore a bunny suit and said Jangus Khan.  Obama ... but we don't dare say anything about him.  Trump was a huckster, which was true, but not consequential.  

And now Biden.  Being old is fine.  But let this be a warning. A lifetime in high political office should have an expiration date -- after which, no presidency for you.  Forty-eight years, less four, is more than enough.  Make it a general rule, proven by Biden.  I expect to grow much older than Biden, and far healthier and more cogent.  So I may decide to be the exception, and if so I'll set the bar for myself at, say, 95.

For Biden, walking old and off in the wrong direction is just bad optics, nothing real.  Verbal gaffs and misreads are regrettable, but fair-mindedness looks for the substance and intended meaning of what people say.  It's just that there's something so unserious, so small about him.  So obvious, so insecure.  Partisan.  Petty.  

This isn't ad hominem.  It is about him, but politics is not my point.  The man himself.  The guy, the dude.  He doesn't have the discipline to stay on message, let alone on script.  He's so bad at the job -- yes, policies, but politics.  Repeating "MAGA Republicans" -- Putin's gas hike ... the name-calling and rejection of responsibility.  Really?  Putin decides what American prices will be?  Even if it's true, the president should not say it.  And the great number of Trump supporters are bad?  The hackness of it.  Joe Biden, president only of the ultra CUSSOM Democrats who agree with him. 

Honestly.  MAGA vs CUSSOM!  It's the clash of kaiju monster movies and the Lovecraft mythos: Mothra vs Chthulhu.  Or, make that Maguma.  Deep in the Stygian bowels of some oppressive magma chamber, the loathsome ichorous spawn of nameless chaos bestirs itself from a scathing torpor of roiling millennia and, hideously awokened, unutterably outraged, unreasonably triggered ... CUSSOM rises!!!  Meanwhile, freed from the frigid bonds of unnamable boreal ice in the melting frost-bound farthest climate-changing climes of the north, slavering noisomely in its bloated greed and squamous intolerance ... MAGUMA creeps forth!!!  And so on.  Adjectival doom awaits us to the utmost adverb.

I do play this game -- cf my frequent callbacks to pronouns -- but I'm not a serious person. If I had great responsibility, I would train myself to never, never do my big ego guy.  It doesn't work at my age, and it wouldn't work in a position of authority.  

Biden is using social tricks that he learned in the sixties.  They will have been how 50 years ago he got elected to the Senate.  Dramatic or humorous stories about how interesting and admirable he is.  Glad-handing and backslapping.  Somehow, they got him this far.  But now, completely inappropriate.  

Biden, find some other fake way to be.  You are the Commander in Chief.  Respect that.  A rookie officer has to learn command presence.  How much more, you.  You are President of the United States.  Have some gravitas.

J

Notice: CUSSOM hats are now available in aquamarine, gaslight, and stylish blue yonder! 

Only $20.24 (plus 19.73 tax plus 49.99 shipping and handling, plus $246.42 cussoms duty -- other fees may apply)  at YeOldeWhiteHouseGiftShoppe. gov and the DisneyStoreOnline.  One size fits all.  Supply unlimited.  (Also available, Biden Balloons!  Guaranteed large enough to meet all your transcontinental needs.  Forgivable FHA loans available.)  Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!!!

The Mourning After

The dignity afforded to the President exists only because of the responsibility of the office.  Its honors and prestige are inseparable, because human beings of planet Earth have brains wired to think symbolically and magically.  Respect is owed to the office, and earned by the man. 

Sometimes a man rises to the demands of the Presidency. Coolidge, Truman -- overmatching lower expectations. But they had strong characters. The rise is not from some lowly status -- many presidents have come from humble childhoods.  None have come from meaningless careers ... well, community organizer.  

We'll even grant that having been a lawyer is meaningful.  There can be some integrity to it.  And talking your way into some political office of responsibility is an achievement.  Even being a backbencher of the Illinois assembly, then poodle-groomed into the US Senate is something ... and Obama was a fantastic speech-giver, with a beautiful smile.  

Andrew Johnson was a catastrophe.  He just never should have been VP -- albeit, horrifically, for only six weeks.  Lincoln's great tragedy was not his assassination, but his choice of vice president.  Johnson however did not seek the office -- bad judgement made him accept it, as Lincoln's bad judgment offered it.  People do seem to forget the actual reason the VP job exists -- death.  (The exception is Nixon's resignation -- Ford, selected, was VP for nine months.)

Of the inappropriate VPs, C Harris, S Agnew, A Johnson were/are superlatives.  Henry Wallace, one of FDR's VPs, was a Soviet-Stalin dupe-pawn.  So, never never never just balancing the ticket.  VPs are always political compromises etc, and many were virtual non-entities, but thankfully history allowed most to remain obscure.  

I hope to god that will be the case with Harris.  Just a blip -- in the history of high office, not a footnote but a paranthetical: first self-identified woman in the office.  Being as I am not woke but awake, I don't quite see how she's a woman of color.  I know, I'm too literal, and I don't want to offend or, unforgivably, trigger, but to me color does not mean race. She's the color of some tanned blonde on the beach.  Not a qualification for office.  Also not a qualification is whatever minority or majority of favored African DNA she might or does possess.  It is African, right? -- or not?  Whatever.  (People have been known to lie about it.  It used to be called "passing", except the other way.  This is progress of a sort.  Fair-mindedness and merit would be most preferred.) 

And while I'm about it, this morning's post-State of the Diversity Address spin, from Harris: "I think that age is more than a chronological fact," she says she thinks, re Biden.  She would mean, if her intention were to communicate meaning, that age is less than a chronological fact.  And "think" is also not the right word, given how vapid her statement is.  Then again, in historical order, she would say that she thinks that she means that life, and marriage, and gender, and now age are more or less than biologico-culturico-psychologico-chronologico-facts.  Facts, nowadays, are not stubborn things.

But back to it.  Of all the men elected to the Presidency, the most disgraceful would be Biden.  clinton was a disgrace, but he wasn't incompetent.  LBJ was a disaster for the Constitution, but he was deeply effective.  Etc.  

But Biden, Biden.  That's how he will be remembered.  Butt Biden.  An ass. During his Address, he actually argued, talked back to the audience.  Undignified.  Unpresidential.  But I haven't been paying attention.  Maybe that's what presidents are doing nowadays?  If I continue to pay attention, it's likely he will be demoted to biden.

I don't hate him, at all.  I'm embarrassed, for the United States.  I don't want to say for America -- America is like a dead mother, remembered, mourned, never in life actually the way you remember her, but precious. The United States is not a dream, but a great power of political reality -- not, sadly of realpolitik, which seeks to advance national goals (not bank accounts, egos, etc).  

So.  The Ant and the Grasshopper.  The Little Boy Who Cried Wolf.  Chicken Little.  The Emperor's New Clothes.  Etc.  We did not pay sufficient attention to such tales, as children.  Or rather, as children we do not pay close enough attention.  But come, help me write a fable.  The Maggot and the Praying Mantis.  The USA will be the maggot, feeding off the corpse of its former virtue.  For the mantis, just pick anybody.  A scorpion would work as well.

We've had our Caesar Augustus, visionary.  We've had our Tiberius, diligent.  Next in line is of course Caligula -- hm, how to say it ... enjoying the power of High Office.  Decadence need not only be sexual.  Incompetence is also corrupt. 

Sometimes a man rises to the challenge.  Thus far, always a man, a self-identified man.  So there's time for Biden to rise, to wake up, unwoke, as from a fever dream or a coma, with a changed spirit ... but not with a head wound (not yet, too soon, I'm not ready for the Tribulation.  Biden had brain surgery in 1988.  It is generally supposed that his brain survived.).  Given the fact of his self-identified gender, I mean self-identified chronological age, there's not a lot of time -- but there's all the hope our magical thinking can conjure up.  

J

It Gets the Hose

Biden is the worst president since James Buchanan, another one-termer, who like Biden was a career politician and a hermaphrodite. That is, Buchanan was a hermaphrodite. I have no positive information in that regard about Biden.

Buchanan, the only bachelor president, had an engagement that in 1819 was traumatically and mysteriously broken off.  The young woman, Ann Coleman, was deeply shocked, never spoke of it, and not long after died, age 23, of "hysterical convulsions" -- thought to be a deliberate drug overdose.  Edgar Allen Poe was only 10 years old at the time, a month older than Lincoln.  

There's his highly notable cohabitation with William King -- Buchanan called it a communion.  Andrew Jackson called them Miss Nancy and Aunt Fancy.  King was considered effeminate, so of course there is speculation re homosexuality.  But a hermaphrodite cannot be homosexual.

Buchanan was six feet tall and weighed 220 pounds, but was described as small.  He had tiny feet and could not grow facial hair.  One eye was very near-sighted and the other was very far-sighted, and they were positioned asymmetrically.  His memorial, in Washington, D.C., shows him enthroned on a long platform, equidistant between two seminude figures symbolizing Law and Diplomacy - male to the right and female to left. These are smaller than the figure of Buchanan.     

Biden is the only one fully clothed -- really draped up -- or, is he sewing a quilt?  I mean Bvchanan.  

Just saying.  

As for Biden (known to history as JRB, Jr - Jerbjer), he's a sort of loudmouth ward heeler -- say nothing for as long as possible, then stop talking -- back slapping, glad handing, speech stumper -- hair sniffing, shower taking repetitionist.  Not small town -- his corruption is petty on an intercontinental scale - proportional to some small-time second banana who slipped home to the White House.  A cowardly braggart loudmouth threatener who knows but will never know how small he is for where he is.

"Psst.  I'm the Commander in Chief!" 

It's good to be the king, I'm not joking.  Here comes the choo-choo engineer, with a key! [sing-song] he's a-comin' down the street!  Woo a-wooo!  And now I’m a cowboy! Doo dee doo dee doo dee... [singing]

But, how dare you use a pronoun about me.  I am universal. I transcend all limits. What is grammar to such as me. … I mean this one. But I don’t mean I.  No pronouns, dammit.   Pronouns are racist, uh, bigoted. Pro nouns?  What about being pro, um, verbs?  Proverbs.  Well that doesn’t work.   But yes it does, because I say so, I mean This One says so.  Do articles count as pronouns?  I say no.  

Who would have thought politics depended so much on grammar.  Well, the nomenklatura knows it.

Marriage, life, identity -- whatever.  This One ... THIS ONE decides the meaning of all things.  

 

It's all so fluid, what people are.  What is 'are'?  'R'.  'Ah'.  To be, too bee, tuby.  Tumescent.  Transitioning. Like sewing the skin suit of Silence of the Lambs.  Kwazy Kwilt.  "It rubs the lotion on its skin. Or it gets the hose."  It -- a pronoun.  It.  

Only two pronouns then.  THIS ONE, and it.  You're the it.  I'm the ONE.  No, dangit.  It's the it.  (Psst. That's you.)  THIS ONE is THIS ONE.  Yeah. Yes. [tumescence]

Biden is giving us the hose.  Biden is giving us his hose.  It's not that he is or is not a hermaphrodite.  He's just whatever, like pronouns.  If he weren't an empty skin suit, he'd be nothing at all. 

J

The State of the Onion

"We’re the only nation on Earth that has always turned every crisis we’ve faced into an opportunity, the only nation that can be defined by a single word: possibilities. 

"So, on this night, on our 245th year as a nation, I’ve come to report on the state of the nation — the state of the union. And my report is this: The State of the Union is strong because you, the American people, are strong. 

"We are stronger today — we are stronger today than we were a year ago. And we’ll be stronger a year from now than we are today." 

Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr 

March 1, 2022

Is it true? Are we stronger today than a year ago?  Could it be untrue?  A broken promise? -- or rather, a lie?  We're strong not because of our Constitution, our institutions, our infrastructure, our integrity, industry, ingenuity, our rule of law, our ability to delay gratification, our willingness for sacrifice...?  But because we are us?  We have positive self-esteem?  Our strength is that there are possibilities? We're strong because we are strong?  Did Harris write this speech?

When was the Afghanistan bugout?  Year-before last, I think. So that was a low point -- hard to get worse.  But, oh, inflation? Carter-style inflation.  Another one-term president. 

Every crisis, an opportunity.  Yeah.  The Civil War, an opportunity for war, and Jim Crow.  Nine-eleven - gigantic government and war... 

"Never let a crisis go to waste." 

Leftist theorist Saul Alinsky and leftist political hack Rahm Emanuel

Ho hum, I'm bored.  

Biden's only true statement, above, is that we are a nation on Earth.  Well, let me just check outside, to make sure.  Yes, the moon.  Gravity feels normal.  I can breathe.  Not sure about the temperature ... shouldn't it be, um, warmer after all these months?

As for being a nation, well I just looked it up: "a large body of people united by common descent, history, culture, or language, inhabiting a particular country or territory."  Oh.  Troubling.  But yes, we are a large body of people, just as Earth is a large body of matter.  United?  Common descent?  Common history?  Common culture or language?  Does "particular country or territory" require identifiable borders? But ... this is from an older dictionary -- you know, one that doesn't have all the correct pronouns -- if they've all been discovered yet, identified. 

So, sure, we're, uh, yeah, why not, we're a nation. Not as united as the Nation of Islam, or as shared a history as the mormons, or as shared a language as, say, Canada, or Switzerland, or the Austro-Hungarian empire.  But, sure.  We'll just say that "united" and "diversified" mean the same thing.  Diversity is our strength.  Forgot to include that one, didn't you, Biden slash Harris.  

The State of the Diversity Address, for the Diversified States of America.  We're "the only nation that can be defined by a single word: possibilities and diversity."  So score one for Biden.

The state of the Union is in my locked garage next to my 1967 vintage Corvette Stingray -- it has 360 horsepower and I drove it a hunerd an sixy miles an hour!  Varoom! [many car-racing sounds -- thunderous applause]

The state of the Union is buoyant, see it floating up there?  I'm not joking, I'm serious, I mean it, literally ... oh! the MAGA Republicans shot it! Did you just see that?!?  That was bad for the climate change!  They are bad! Very bad!!!  Booo!!!  My big balloon got popped!  Can I have ice cream now?  Is it time yet?  I've been good! Very good!  Your hair smells nice! I'm not joking!

J

The Biden Balloon

It's completely appropriate, our national security symbolized by a balloon.  School buses used as a size-metric is also apt (Trump's hands would also do).  We're on a short-bus field trip to the circus -- cotton candy (no peanuts), bearded lady, tattooed man, hermaphrodite.  Mind you, this is my fantasy circus ... I mean, that this would be a circus ... it's reality.  Freakshow.

And here's our balloon man, our presidential balloon boy.  No, not presidential.  Our balloon boy president.  He is presiding, yes?  Well at least present, physically -- there he is, shuffling off stage in the wrong direction.  He can't help being old, or looking like a melted clown being suffocated with cellophane.  As they used to say about him, "Senator, you're no James Buchanan."  (Buchanan was of course the pres who oversaw the destruction of the Union -- later saved by Lincoln.)

Campaigning, they hid the onset moderately well.  But, Article 25, re incapacity.  Except, in the wings, Harris.  It could happen.  It's the early-90s joke: if assassins are shooting at Pres Bush, the Secret Service has orders to shoot Dan Quayle.  What we wouldn't give, for Dan Quayle.  We don't talk about gravitas anymore.  It's racist.

Every time they say her name, it should start with that dramatic descending-three-note sound effect: duh duh duh ... Harris!  Because Biden is not the worst thing that could happen. It's just the worst thing that's happened so far. I do not want Biden to be removed from office, for any reason.  Because we have a Constitution, we conservatives, and Harris is the deal they, the non-conservatives, got.  We have to, well, not honor, but abide by what the rules have allowed.   

This is why democracy is the worst political system, except for all the others.  The biggest liars and cheaters, and incompetents, sometimes take the brass ring.  There she is, gibbering and giggling, peeping from the wings, West Wing, left wing.  Please Lord, preserve our President.

A Red Chinese surveillance balloon, allowed to cross the entirety of the continental United States, Alaska included.  Not shot down, because of the hazard to people on the ground.  You know, because raining debris would imperil the milling throngs of Montana's many metropolises.  (State population by density: 50- Alaska, 49- Wyoming, 48- Montana...)  The sky is falling. 

Somehow, somehow it seems relevant that throughout history only one person is known to have been struck by a meteorite -- Ann Hodges, Alabama, 1954.  At least one person is known to have been killed by frozen sewage fallen from a plane - 'blue ice'.  In all of history, no Montanan is known to have been harmed by falling Chinese surveillance balloon debris.  

Of course, "people on the ground", sometimes known as "Americans", would be the very reason for national security, and protected air space, and international law.  But, as per our national motto, Whatever.

The Red Chinese are planning to retaliate for the Biden Balloon being shot down after the spy mission was successfully completed and far out on the continental shelf, of the Atlantic Ocean.  Because it was a weather balloon.  Aint no spy balloons here.  What, this? Heh heh, whatchu talkun bout.  This is not the balloon you're looking at.  

But lies will out.  The "weather" balloon story was authorized by some Red Chinese apparatchik who expected Biden to comply with Politburo orders.  Biden had been instructed to stone wall, no, potatoe mushmouth until the balloon went very byebye.  The apparatchik will grow old, maybe Biden-old, in a Red Chinese gulag.  Failure will not be tolerated.  The crime is in being caught.

And when Biden was discovered?  Oh, oh, busted! How do we spin it!?!  Like a pinwheel, sticking to our circus, no, carnival, no, carnivàle imagery.  

So now Red China has to punish us, retaliate.  "What?!  You don't pretend to believe our lies!?!  Bring out President duh duh duh Harris!  Let's ... Make China Great Again!  MaChiGA, MaChiGA, MaChiGA, MaChiGA, MaChiGA..." [wild cheering]

Potato tomato, potatoes tomatoes, politburo toilet bureau - let's call the whole thing off [rim-shot].

J

Tractatus Logico Geneticus

Every mother is a woman.  Not every woman is a mother. Nobody who is not a woman is a mother.  

Every woman who is not a biological mother can act in the place of a biological mother.

Not every woman who is or acts as a mother is a good woman or a good mother.

The terms woman and biological woman are linguistically identical.

The phrase people who menstruate describes women who menstruate.  Not all women menstruate.  All people who menstruate are women.

Some syllogisms:

All mothers are women.  XX is a mother, therefore XX is a woman.  

All men are not mothers.  XY is a man, therefore XY is not a mother.

Almost all humans with XY chromosomes are men; rarely they are Swyer syndrome women; therefore no absolute conclusion can be generalized regarding XY genotype in the absence of phenotypical presentation of sex as a dyad.

Almost all humans with XX chromosomes are women; rarely they are de la Chapelle syndrome men; therefore no absolute conclusion can be generalized regarding XX genotype in the absence of phenotypical presentation of sex as a dyad.

All humans with XX (or X not-Y) chromosomes where an X is effectively absent, or sufficiently damaged to approximate a Y, are women suffering Turner syndrome.

All humans with XXX (trysomy) or XXY (Klinefelter syndrome) or XYY (Jacobs syndrome) or XYYY (XYYY syndrome - there is no identified 'YYY' or 'YY' syndrome) chromosomes are suffering atypical genetic expressions of sexual genotype (geno-atypical), some of whom may identify or be identified, currently, as intersex.

Intersex is always the product of genetic abnormality.

Abnormal is not a pejorative.

Hermaphrodite is a meaningful biological term, describing organisms capable of fulfilling both male and female reproductive functions.  With reference to humans it is an obsolete term, more precise but less desirable than intersex.

In cases if true hermaphroditism, the female reproductive function takes precedence.

Gender is a term specific to grammar, classifying pronouns (and in English, rarely, nouns -- eg, a ship as female). 

Gender is to grammar as genus is to taxonomy.  Genus is based on quantifiable genetic or cladistic distinguishers.

Gender is never a descriptor in biology. No vertebrate has a gender; all vertebrates have a sex.  Thus, man or woman are gendered linguistic terms for biologically male or female homo sapiens (ie,  humans or people).   

Gendered terms describing innate biological characteristics are artifacts not of grammar but of linguistics.  Thus, bull/cow, dog/bitch, cock/hen, boar/sow, ram/ewe, actor/actress -- man/woman -- all identify non-arbitrary heritable traits, independent and regardless of phonologic, syntactic and semantical abstractions.

Best practice moves from what is clear, direct and normal, to what is statistically and phenomenologically abnormal.  

J

Phobophilia: a tone poem, or maybe un rêve

When someone uses "-phobia" as a politico-culturio suffix, he [s/hy [pron. SHUH-ee (as in 'cheesy' or 'creamy'), but with a glottal stop, but this is not cultural appropriation as of Hawai'iian, or Khoisan [which racists call a so-called "click" language], for example]] casts himself [hermself, pron. HER-mzelph] as a bigot and must redeem or at best justify himself [thhymzylph [pron. self-evident (well, no, not self-evident. Is that "pron." meant to be pronounced or pronoun?  Nowadays context is not enough. (And why both 'hermself' and 'thhymzylph'?  Seems awfully binary, these two choices.))]].  "‑phobia" surely has legitimate applications, some descriptive power of the phenomenological [binario-gendio*-patriarchicio] world [*not to be confused with Gen D (the sumpbucket term for LGBTTQQIAAP (briefly, Legbutt Kyap) -- the D standing for, well, whatever (And there it is, binary again.  Appropriate, really, this astounding over-complication of what is obvious and simple -- sex, two.  It's not an abstruse principle, male and female, that needs to be corrected with a cantorian infinitude of genders. They oppose 'binary' with what, plenitudinary? (That's just valetudinary.  (I couldn't resist.)) - superfluitinary? (I have decided to rescue the Gender Theorists, by proposing G-theory: analogous to the 11 dimensions of M-theory in physics, there are 11 genders (predictively already identified (or identitiified) as LGBTTQQIAAP); all ultimately unified (or eunuchified) (And observe that leggbutt-etc (qlipt qatbag) excludes heterosexual -- the dialectics, or, here, hendecalogics of G-theory requires and tolerates only 11 genders [is anyone following this?  Jack H is an idiot. WTF is Mtheory?  (It's like mzelph, sir or madam, or whatever.)]). I could go on, infinitely, or in this context, indefinitely.  G-theory is much easier than physics, of course.  There's no need for evidence or testing.)) [note the sexismistic dogwhistle embedded in patriarchic [and the D stands for ... Defiers against Defamation and Dogwhistlers ... and, also, Desirable Defenders of Diversity. Oh. Oh! Yeah, no, the D stands for Diversity. Generation Diversity [also note the meticulous correctness of the correct usage of the italicized close-brackets [as well as close-parenthesis [ed. by Ed.]]]])]. But overwhelmingly it is the instrument of laziness, ignorance and prejudice, as in islamophobe or homophobe [and also tranzophobe, um, gynophobe ... pedophobe, uh ... um ... etc]. 

In any case, ‑phobe should always be paired with its counterpart, ‑phile, as fattyphilia, trancephilistx, syphilisiphilic, hemophiliac -- as phobosophy should also be recognized and given its own department in universities (but it's there already, what with gender studies and critical race theory). People who resort to the ‑ophobo-slur owe it to self-actualization to identify themselves in like-terms. (Identity is now a Hegelian application of pure will, or pure feel.) You're a lover not a fighter, or hater, or fearer. You are whatever you say you are. You believe you can fly -- you believe you can touch the sky. Imagine all the people, living in conformity. Death to the toleranciophobes (which contains all the letters of cooperation (and which my spellchecker recognizes)). 

 I would continue with this, but I'm bored now. I'll just observe that there is nothing you cannot prove with prudent and/or imprudent, not to say impudent and/or pudent, usage and/or over-usage of suffixes and/or hyphens and/or italics and/or antonyms, and slashes. 

 J 

This article has been reviewed and corrected by Helmut Crisp, ed., cenc. (who really didn't understand what this was about, but instead reacted to the mere words. It's all about words with these people -- saying something makes it so.  Like a small child, or rather, being sexualized, an adolescent.  That's what I've been doing, making fun of made-up words.  And calling himself an editor is ridiculous. He just butted in and basically ruined it. Incomprehensible. This is what comes of leaving my password where he could find it. What was I thinking. As soon as I regain sole access, it will no longer be 'wordpass' - JH [That's just ignorant and hateful.  Jack H, if that is his real name, is a Nazio-megaMAGA-racistic closet-case who's worse than Hitler and a total loser - HC (I am whatever you say I am. But how odd, him calling me a closet-case. You'd think he'd try to facilitate my transition into my true, if perhaps temporary, identity - J [Shut the fuck up, you climate-denying racismistical asshole. You and everyone like you should be exterminated - H (we'll just leave it there. Answer not a fool according to his folly. Except, for made-up words, how about racistismalic? That '-mistical' adds an aspect of meta that can only be unintentional - J [Set you on fire and while you're still burning suffocate you with shit. God I hate you so much, except there is no god an anda arqhwaaa grlg prrrriu qwhhh (that was HC, not me. I found him foaming on the floor curled into a ball, only backwards. Dude has the most flexible spine in the world -- like a bicycle chain. It must be a metaphor for something - J)])])]).

PS - Well I've regained a fair bit of control here.  What a nightmare.  He got some hacker gang, Anonamorus, to hardwire or whatever, permanently embed this text so I've had only partial and highly idiosyncratic access.  I called the FBI, but, well, seems they're actively working for the woke agenda. Now the IRS is auditing me. - J